Invitation to Dharna Against Legal Terrorism

Is the pain of a mother lesser when her son dies relative to when her daughter dies?

Is the pain of a sister lesser when her brother dies relative to when her sister dies?

Save Indian Family Foundation invites you to a peaceful gathering to protest against the rampant and blatant misuse of pro-women marital laws against men which are resulting in large scale suicides amongst married men.

Our IMMEDIATE Demands ARE :-

1. Clear the Pending cases in the Family Courts ASAP.

2. Allocate more experienced judges and increase the Family Courts.

3. Eliminate all gender biased in marital laws making them Gender Neutral.

4. Implements Checks within the system to prevent misuse of these laws.

5. Stop the treatment Men as FREE ATM MACHINES

6. Provide Services to Curtail High Rate of suicides of married men.

7. Establish National Commission for Men, and

8. Establish Men’s Welfare Ministry,

Please come to the gathering with your friends to share your views and to address the above or any related problems.

Date: 14th February 2009
Time: 9: 30 AM to 2: 00 PM
Venue: In front of Gandhi Statue on M.G. Road, Bangalore
Invitees: All citizens of India.
Proudly Supported by:-

1. Save Family Foundation, Delhi
2. MyNation Foundation, Delhi
3. Gender Human Rights Society, Delhi
4. Rakshak Foundation, Delhi
5. Mother’s and Sister’s Initiative, Delhi
6. Protect Indian Family Foundation, Mumbai
7. Indiya Kudumba Pathukappu Iyakkam Chennai
8. All India Forgotten Women, Hyderabad
9. Rishtey, Hyderabad
10. Save Indian Family Foundation, Nagpur
11. Bharat Bachao Sangathan, Kolkata.

Volunteers you may Contact:
Virag - 99863 78801 (English)
Panduranga Katti - 94328 53272 (English)
Shiva Shankara - 97431 83369 (Kannada)
Prakash - 98804 36929 (Kannada)
93428 53272

http://www.saveindianfamily.org/ 98451 43274

On the other side of 498a

Today, I think I’ve stumbled upon the starkest truth of the life. When you think that the problems of your life are overwhelming, God brings someone who is little bit worse than you and that somehow nudges you to become human to that person.

Truth be told, I am not a 498a victim.
Truth be told, I am a fake, an impostor amongst you all 498a victims.
Truth be told, I am probably the only one who escaped the direct wrath of 498a due to efforts of those that were little ahead of me.

But Beware that my confessions above do not mean that I have not seen the wrath of feminist laws break my life apart.

Perhaps, I have borne the brunt from a far better oiled machine called Australian Family Law and still is able to talk about it. I still shiver when I think that Indian laws are being modified only to ape Western Laws and when we, as SIFIANs in our naivety for unknown are asking Government to implement what was successful in West. Maybe we need to think far beyond.


Back in 2005 when the dark clouds of divorce had zoomed into my clear blue marital sky, I was in serious double minds to come to India to keep myself relatively dry. My parents wanted me to come but something deep down inside me was making me hesitate

Yes, Thoughts of leaving my very young son behind was hard too.

Perhaps the external manifestation of hesitation was a friend of my X who used to call me her brother and asked me to go to India as soon as possible. I also knew that the same lady also used to call my X within next 10 minutes. Other than that, my so called friend and sister was a very GOD fearing devotee running a temple as its President.

Thus plagued by GO-NO GO State, I boarded a local tram in Melbourne. I did not realize that my X was also in a same tram until I heard her voice. I could make out instantly that she was talking to her sister in India.

I heard her instruct her sister to wait for few more days and file documents only after she informs her that He has left. Although she did not use my name, I felt that I could be THE THIRD PARTY referred to in that call.

I dug on internet what she could file against me and discovered SIF and was introduced to 498a. I stayed up next 10 nights reading the horror stores posted on internet and poetic metaphors of the guys.

I could see that even amongst all the pain, many of the Guys were poetic.

Thus, the KaviSammelan came into existence. I have been reading a lot and writing even more (majority of which is beyond nonsense) in SIF since then.

That is what makes me SIF member.

I am one who shares your angst without having gone through the exact same pain. Viewed just little differently, I am the only Non criminal Indian who likes to hang out with you all those law of the land considers criminal types HA HA! Maybe I have become a genuinely Confused Desi without being born in America.

The point that I can never ignore is that those who wrote before me saved me from the trouble on Indian side.

It is not that I did not suffer. I have paid the same prices that you’ve paid.

On the other side of the pond, I had to face the problem mostly alone. I used to find myself alone especially at all the pivotal moments. There was no dearth of friends who rushed to me with band-aids once the pivotal moment had come and gone. But not one person (including lawyers) stood with me during the actual firings. No one except maybe few SIF statements (in my own voice) making noise in my head.

If quoted in financial terms, amounts look huge in Rupees but it is all relative. In reality it is only about 10 years of my wasted efforts in making something out of myself. If I really compress time, it is only efforts of about 5 best years of my career.

As for my successes in Australia.

I have managed to prove in Australian Court that my X lies. In fact, I made them say it in their decision over which they deliberated behind closed door for approximately 9 months. I made them say it in writing four times that she lied to them under oath and they had been able to catch her and detect where she lied to them.

I proved in court that my X is domestically violent and breaking the orders that they made about 8 times.

All such efforts total upto 27 separate instances of proven guilty in period of under 2 years.

I made them agree with my allegations that my X robbed the very hands of the Australian Government that were literally feeding her besides me.

I lived through Shared Parenting program for 3 years from 1.5 year old boy to 4.5 year
old boy. Unless asleep, my son loved to dash into me running.

I took my son to the temple that X hated to her bones. I was rewarded when my son played the role of Krishna in my house to cajole me into reading stories for him

I took my son to every single Children's Park out their in Melbourne. Parks there are really beautiful and worth every minute I’ve spent there.

I took him to every single place that I discovered and felt he might like. I took videos of him as often as I could. I have captured him on videos him becoming a boy playing in dirt and grass once again from a scared kid locked up indoors by his mom in those 3 nights.

But I could not continue to do it any more. Seeing him every fortnight to me was like starving for 11 nights and overeating for 3. I could not go on dropping him back to her knowing I would not see him on that night.

Shared Parenting may work for the child but it still wreaks havoc on life of the non custodial parent.

In my failures, there are too many to count.

I lost custody applications of my son twice in Australia and once hung up in India.

I wrote an Affidavit of about 46 pages, on its last page, in one paragraph, I had written a statement about many fathers being separated from their children by force. I had written an in definitive word "many" instead of a number such as 50,000 or 30,000. Magistrate picked up on that so called legal error.

PRICE I PAID for that word "MANY": My custody Application was dismissed in 2 minutes of the hearing.

I lost the house that I purchased that I discovered after unaccountable amount of driving. I lost my chance to enjoy the fruits that I had planted in its gardens.

My X stole money right from under me while living in my house and then shamelessly defended herself by lying to court that I had given her permission to rob, pillage and steal. I was wrong because I had later on changed my mind. She confessed she stole but added that I was blackmailing her. Oddly enough that defence mixed with sufficient amount of tears worked. The land of Australia let a woman who caused one of its largest banks to lose 9 million in lost revenues go scot-free.

Yes, I made mistakes through the separation. It was my first real one for crying out loud!. But was the Court in Australia blind?


Not one Australian bureaucrat has asked me for a bribe, not ever.

But that does not make them any better than Indian bureaucrats. I have had to hear those nazis yell and scream on me over the phone because I was asking them to do their job which they did not want to do.

One of them threw a paper weight from her desk on me. To this day, I will never forget look on her face as I picked it up and placed it back on my application and said "Concentrate on this, Instead". Reluctantly, she investigated.

It took them two more years and lot more writeups from me using which the Public body was able to find large stash of hidden income (twice bigger than my guess) and exactly where I told them it was hidden with name of X intact even after she tried very hard to remove it.

So what do those Australian bureaucrats do next? They bought a new carpet to sweep all of the great evidence under, clean up their hands after the sweep and say to me “LOOK MATE! WE FOUND NOTHING ON HER!”

I have heard the elected representative of Australian Federal Parliament tell me in her sweetest voice after reading through 50 page decision of the bureaucrats that no one in Australia can do anything for me.

The Family Law System is only supposed to work if the woman AND man are honest to each other. If one of them is dishonest, the system will not function!

Still I find myself falling short.

To this day, it sends shiver down my spine when I recollect all this.

That is not me. I am supposed to a non confrontational type Gujarati man from Mumbai who will run at the first sign of trouble.

I feel suicidal when I think of myself as a loser.

My mom wants me to get remarried. But She does not understand me. I am not the same person anymore. Her son is long gone and buried somewhere in past. She thinks I need to be married so that I have someone with me to look after my Son.

How can I get married again? Does such a woman exist? Is there a woman who will marry a man who may not be able to earn very well and still have to pay large chunk to his theiving X? Can there be any woman who can marry a man who can barely trust her? Is there even a point in talking about such a woman to any one?

The most important ingredients of marriages in Indian context for me is the "THE BLIND FAITH" in goodness of opposite gender. It is completely lacking in me. I am not going to be able to trust a woman even if my very life depends on it.

10 years ago, I had married a woman I thought I liked without bothering to know her nature as I could trust her as a person to a certain extent. I will get to know her over time was my thinking.

What the hell do I do with myself now?

What am I? How do I come out of this? When will this be over?

All I want to do is play with my son everyday before he becomes a man needing to shave twice a day. I may not be able to walk by myself then. Is that too much to ask?

Now, coming to the flash point that inspired this blog…

Today, a person who is member of SIF whom I doubted sometime ago shared with me a story of 60+ Old Couple struggling in the Indian Courts whose only son has committed suicide.

Links to other blog sites

• Fight against misuse of IPC-498A



• Save Indian Family Home page



• Pariwarik Suraksha



• Jinesh's blog



• 498A Blog



• Satya's blog



• Swarup's blog



• Vinayaks Blog



• Rebel's blog



• Bharat's blog



• Indian Bakra's blog



• Sachit Dalal's blog



• Wasif's blog



• Mother India's blog



• and much much more ...

Aadmi ke dard

Aadmi ke dard me umph nahi, ehsas nahi, aasun nahi

We must bring all of our sufferings into picture:

We have to scream

till our lungs fall apart,
till we get heard.
till we are seen
till we know how to be really organized as a group.

Now, for some worldwide reality check

India is not the only country where the law and its enforcement seems to be biased against men and causing havoc in entire families. It is essentially a worldwide problem in any country where law is derived from "English Common Law". This includes UK itself. Men in USA face the same dogma but its distinctive trial-by-jury system seems to reduce the effects [citations needed]

State of men is no different in Australia as compared to men. Take a look at some of their websites

Dads in Distress

Mens rights Agency in Australia/

I hav met some aussie men, whoafter divorce get into alcohol or gambling or worse drugs. Major input to Economy in case of some states such as Victoria is gambling, so government is getting richer both ways.

1 in 4 men commit suicide because they cannot cope living within perceived unfairness. Some of them do remarry to have one more rerun of the same.

Compared to Australian women, women in India are really pampered. Parents of girls take care of their well being and do not really expect her to fend for herself. Girls who do work usually spend her income on her personal expenses and still depend on parents for sustenance. Parents look around on their behalf to find them a suitable groom.

Most boys and girls do not even know if their would-be spouse has any scars under the covered parts or skin diseases until after they are wed.

Most of girls behave like Virgin Marys on wedding night (irrespective of reality).

In Australia, "No Faults" divorce was introduced in 1975 and since then divorce rates have tripled. Under Aussie law, they have removed alimony as a concept and introduced "child support" as a substitute.

When I was new to Australia and not really aware of any of these laws, I used to find it very odd that before an average australian woman got married, she would have lived with her boy friend for 3 to 4 years. During the time that they lived together, both of them would usually contribute equally for running of the household.

I never understood that what was happening after birth of kids that the couples were splitting up after one or two kids were born? Now I understand!!

About 70% of the cases today are initiated by women for want of better financial freedom. In India, dowry is ready, lethal, easy and hence a weapon of choice. In Australia, most common complains seem to be around "child sexual abuse" or "domestic violence".

After separation, for an average Aussie man who is earning 80K, he pays about 65% of his earnings away in some form of taxes or child support. Remaining 35% is laced with lot of hidden expenses which no one even realizes.

Since transfer of money is almost exclusively electronic, you never see your entire earnings anyway. It is too easy to pay taxes and forget. Some of those who resist foolishly by going to cash economy get into further trouble.

There are rows upon rows of houses (bungalows) where single mothers are living with mortgages paid by men living in 3rd grade apartments (aka slums). All of these men are tied by their frustrating attachments to their child and made to feel guilty if they try to break attachments. They accept standard "alternate weekend" arrangement in which they spend some time with their child every other weekend. They work their jobs on Monday to Friday, use one weekend for themselves, and next one for their children. No Community services are available to fathers such as like childcare are open on saturdays and sundays.

It all seems like starving for two weeks and then forced to eat six packets of McDonald fries, but scores upon scores of guys are doing the very same thing. For some, it also seems that they forced to pay as if they are eating 6 packets every day. Almost entire generation of Aussie is raised as a divorcee's kid or with one of the natural parent missing.

As a cherry on top, lot of kids carry resentment for their dads for "not being there" for them.

Mothers on the other hand keep kids during week and get paid handsomely by government. They get to use all community facilities like child-care. All Single mothers go to psychologists and counsellors a lot of time and weep of depression and "unable to work" stuff. Since medical aid is essentialy free, government foots the shrink bill and passes it onto those who do work.

Those Aussie man, who have their marriages intact are little better but not by much. They carry lot of load and stress with little or no help or sympathy from the new wife and the sword of separation is always looming.

I think there will soon be time where all men will go find a new land and leave all of these countries for lazy and greedy women. If feminist think, they can do everything a man can do, let them atleast try for real.

Thankfully, man in australia get a chance to say what they have to say and he does not get jailed immediately unless there is very strong evidence. In most cases, parents of boy are not in picture or far apart anyway. 1 in 100 gets believed by court. Police and basic services are not likely to be corrupt.

Average lawyer's hourly rate is 10 times of what you earn. He then pads the bills for making phone calls for you and receiving faxes for you. It is cheaper for me to talk to a person in India for 10 minutes then to fax 2 pages to my lawyer 1/2 km away. Most well-meaning and good-humane lawyers advice you to give in to wife's demands and walk away.

NRI like me are much worse. Most of work and go home and have no real idea of local systems till our wives get ourselves in hot water. She has been well educated by now, because of Mother's group and all such community infrastructure. Dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka.

My New rule of marriage is "Cheat on your partner before she cheats on you". Atleast that way if you lose all your money, you have to something to blame yourself for.

What can we do now?

Flood the court with child custody cases and refuse to accept till it is really reasonable. Best thing to do is it Do-it-yourself.

File class action lawsuits on Indian and Australian and UK legal system for gross act of gender bias. Hold them in contempt of Society. Hold them accountable for millions of kids lives they have destroyed.

Sue them for creating and perpetuating a system that legally allows theft of our most precious genetic material gave us.

Refuse to surrender until they listen.
In India, threaten to change religion en-masse to Islam or Christian or Harijan.

Our greedy wives love our jobs (for the money it brings).
Give them the jobs instead and walk out of the place.

Tell the whole legal systems, we are not prepared to be dangled at end of rope because deep down inside all we wanted to see was our children grow up beautifully. We want 10 minutes of smiles every night, not 24 hours every other weekend. Otherwise, there will be plenty of orphan kids that we can go help. Any country in the world can use honest or skillful man.

Atleast it will leave our testosterone levels intact.

Disclaimer: I have based legal opinions on what I have heard from lawyers and media. I do not profess to be a legal expert. This article is only intended to provoke some reaction and then a genuine action. It is not meant against honest and just Woman or those who really are in trouble. Men need sympathetic and caring ear too.

Ironically Standard expression in English for addressing gathering is "Ladies and Gentlemen". Note the adjective "Gentle" in front of men.

WHY ? WHY ? WHY ? WHY ? WHY ? WHY ?

The question doesn't arise whether you are wrong or right, whether somebody agrees with you or not. There is not an atom of falsehood in your understanding.

The questions that arise are:

• What is stopping people to realise that they must look at the other side of the story?
• What is stopping people to observe that feminist are bombarding the society with distorted facts only to change the mindset, culture of India and persuade people to declare that men should be blamed ALWAYS ?
• What is stopping people that instead of looking at how women are living in India, they must look at how men are living in India ?
• What is stopping people to know that even when women are enjoying a higher status in the society, still they are complaining ?
• What is stopping people to realise that feminist group are not focusing on equality, they want to control men?
• The habit of ignoring, letting go, avoiding, neglecting the actions of women is in fact strengthening their confidence and conspiracy.
• Feminist is not getting stronger. Men are getting weak. Why ?
• Why men avoid retaliating against these feminist even when they know that these feminist are making them vulnerable?
• Why men are ignoring the actions of these feminist when they know that these actions will directly affect him and his family?
• Why men are neglecting the fact that these actions are towards controling men "legally" ?
• WHY ? WHY ? WHY ? WHY ? WHY ? WHY ?

---
Courtesy: An anonymous friend

Girls to look out for (MUST WATCH FOR AN NRI)

You shoud be very cautious if you find yourself looking for a matrimonial alliance in India.

In particular, you should do all your background searches and try and avoid these profiles.
(Of course, this is just a short list and it is not an attempt to stereotype anyone)

• Girls who either had pre marital or is having post marital affairsGirls - who had pre marital Affair, but hiding it from husband, and always worried someday he may findout about it, and divorce her.
• 
  
• Girls from all female family; i.e.she is the only daughter or they are only sisters. (Here PILs will interfere more with the son in laws family)
• 
  
• Girls who have very high sense of insecurity. To get past it she tries to alienate husband from his parents.
• 
  
• Girls who have some mental disorder such as borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder.
• 
  
• Girls who are mentally unstable.
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• Girls who do not belong to a good family. as these bad things like 498a culture runs in families.
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• Girls She or and her family are very greedy
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• Girls who have failed to get money for her relatives to entertain.Girls - who have Relatives to misguide her
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• Girls who have relatives who insult her, when she failed in her mission to make her husband to dance as she says
• 
  
• Girls who are lazy
• 
  
• Girls who hate cooking
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• Girls who hate in-Laws
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• Girls who like too much Freedom
• 
  
• Girls who has different taste than husband
• 
  
• Girls who do not get enough money for her things
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• Girls who think they are from Upper middle class
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• Girls Where Husband earning MORE than the wife - or at least the husband is a golden goose
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• Girls Where Husband and family are pious, have a reputation etc and can be shaken - so generally Hindu upper middle class Boys get hit. Thugs are not afraid of police
• 
  
• Girls who are born and brought up in are big cities
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• Girls who are are Professional or double degree qualified
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• Girls who are very materialistic and do not have high regards for family values and sacrifices one has to make to raise and maintain family are more likely to go after 498a and divorce