Aadmi ke dard

Aadmi ke dard me umph nahi, ehsas nahi, aasun nahi

We must bring all of our sufferings into picture:

We have to scream

till our lungs fall apart,
till we get heard.
till we are seen
till we know how to be really organized as a group.

Now, for some worldwide reality check

India is not the only country where the law and its enforcement seems to be biased against men and causing havoc in entire families. It is essentially a worldwide problem in any country where law is derived from "English Common Law". This includes UK itself. Men in USA face the same dogma but its distinctive trial-by-jury system seems to reduce the effects [citations needed]

State of men is no different in Australia as compared to men. Take a look at some of their websites

Dads in Distress

Mens rights Agency in Australia/

I hav met some aussie men, whoafter divorce get into alcohol or gambling or worse drugs. Major input to Economy in case of some states such as Victoria is gambling, so government is getting richer both ways.

1 in 4 men commit suicide because they cannot cope living within perceived unfairness. Some of them do remarry to have one more rerun of the same.

Compared to Australian women, women in India are really pampered. Parents of girls take care of their well being and do not really expect her to fend for herself. Girls who do work usually spend her income on her personal expenses and still depend on parents for sustenance. Parents look around on their behalf to find them a suitable groom.

Most boys and girls do not even know if their would-be spouse has any scars under the covered parts or skin diseases until after they are wed.

Most of girls behave like Virgin Marys on wedding night (irrespective of reality).

In Australia, "No Faults" divorce was introduced in 1975 and since then divorce rates have tripled. Under Aussie law, they have removed alimony as a concept and introduced "child support" as a substitute.

When I was new to Australia and not really aware of any of these laws, I used to find it very odd that before an average australian woman got married, she would have lived with her boy friend for 3 to 4 years. During the time that they lived together, both of them would usually contribute equally for running of the household.

I never understood that what was happening after birth of kids that the couples were splitting up after one or two kids were born? Now I understand!!

About 70% of the cases today are initiated by women for want of better financial freedom. In India, dowry is ready, lethal, easy and hence a weapon of choice. In Australia, most common complains seem to be around "child sexual abuse" or "domestic violence".

After separation, for an average Aussie man who is earning 80K, he pays about 65% of his earnings away in some form of taxes or child support. Remaining 35% is laced with lot of hidden expenses which no one even realizes.

Since transfer of money is almost exclusively electronic, you never see your entire earnings anyway. It is too easy to pay taxes and forget. Some of those who resist foolishly by going to cash economy get into further trouble.

There are rows upon rows of houses (bungalows) where single mothers are living with mortgages paid by men living in 3rd grade apartments (aka slums). All of these men are tied by their frustrating attachments to their child and made to feel guilty if they try to break attachments. They accept standard "alternate weekend" arrangement in which they spend some time with their child every other weekend. They work their jobs on Monday to Friday, use one weekend for themselves, and next one for their children. No Community services are available to fathers such as like childcare are open on saturdays and sundays.

It all seems like starving for two weeks and then forced to eat six packets of McDonald fries, but scores upon scores of guys are doing the very same thing. For some, it also seems that they forced to pay as if they are eating 6 packets every day. Almost entire generation of Aussie is raised as a divorcee's kid or with one of the natural parent missing.

As a cherry on top, lot of kids carry resentment for their dads for "not being there" for them.

Mothers on the other hand keep kids during week and get paid handsomely by government. They get to use all community facilities like child-care. All Single mothers go to psychologists and counsellors a lot of time and weep of depression and "unable to work" stuff. Since medical aid is essentialy free, government foots the shrink bill and passes it onto those who do work.

Those Aussie man, who have their marriages intact are little better but not by much. They carry lot of load and stress with little or no help or sympathy from the new wife and the sword of separation is always looming.

I think there will soon be time where all men will go find a new land and leave all of these countries for lazy and greedy women. If feminist think, they can do everything a man can do, let them atleast try for real.

Thankfully, man in australia get a chance to say what they have to say and he does not get jailed immediately unless there is very strong evidence. In most cases, parents of boy are not in picture or far apart anyway. 1 in 100 gets believed by court. Police and basic services are not likely to be corrupt.

Average lawyer's hourly rate is 10 times of what you earn. He then pads the bills for making phone calls for you and receiving faxes for you. It is cheaper for me to talk to a person in India for 10 minutes then to fax 2 pages to my lawyer 1/2 km away. Most well-meaning and good-humane lawyers advice you to give in to wife's demands and walk away.

NRI like me are much worse. Most of work and go home and have no real idea of local systems till our wives get ourselves in hot water. She has been well educated by now, because of Mother's group and all such community infrastructure. Dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka.

My New rule of marriage is "Cheat on your partner before she cheats on you". Atleast that way if you lose all your money, you have to something to blame yourself for.

What can we do now?

Flood the court with child custody cases and refuse to accept till it is really reasonable. Best thing to do is it Do-it-yourself.

File class action lawsuits on Indian and Australian and UK legal system for gross act of gender bias. Hold them in contempt of Society. Hold them accountable for millions of kids lives they have destroyed.

Sue them for creating and perpetuating a system that legally allows theft of our most precious genetic material gave us.

Refuse to surrender until they listen.
In India, threaten to change religion en-masse to Islam or Christian or Harijan.

Our greedy wives love our jobs (for the money it brings).
Give them the jobs instead and walk out of the place.

Tell the whole legal systems, we are not prepared to be dangled at end of rope because deep down inside all we wanted to see was our children grow up beautifully. We want 10 minutes of smiles every night, not 24 hours every other weekend. Otherwise, there will be plenty of orphan kids that we can go help. Any country in the world can use honest or skillful man.

Atleast it will leave our testosterone levels intact.

Disclaimer: I have based legal opinions on what I have heard from lawyers and media. I do not profess to be a legal expert. This article is only intended to provoke some reaction and then a genuine action. It is not meant against honest and just Woman or those who really are in trouble. Men need sympathetic and caring ear too.

Ironically Standard expression in English for addressing gathering is "Ladies and Gentlemen". Note the adjective "Gentle" in front of men.